Posts Tagged With: expressing

Because, I miss you…

I really have no idea where to begin from, and I’m not sure if people would like to read it, but I’d like to notify the readers, that, this essay is as a small gift of thanks to my friend, Rasheeda.

There’s no once upon a time in this story, I’ve known Rasheeda since I was a kid. It’s simple; I and Rasheeda have been living in the same area since childhood just until yesterday. We have known each other since we were babies crawling here and there in the masjid. Then we joined the madrasah and had our own girls group of the mohalla (area). Time passed and we used to play with each other/ be with each other for like every day.

When teenage hit us, there came times for sleepovers and gossips. Girls will be girls, there’s no denying it. So, there used to be cat fights (amongst all of us), I don’t mean physically, but saying stuff and cold wars, that kind. But even then, I don’t know why or how we still stayed along in a group.

In all of this growing part, we graduated from schools, and then from colleges and got into universities (except me, still in college – no comments on that) . We enjoyed getting older, because now no aunties will tell us not to sit in separate thaals and go to our moms (Just kidding! :D) Taking the oath of misaaq was one part of growing up, because it really meant we have to be serious towards studies and life, and we have to act mature, somehow all those parts in life went well. I believe growing up brought us closer to each other’s heart.

Naturally, no one can live without friends, even if we don’t say it, we want our friends to listen to our scored goals and the missed ones too, and our times of hardship and happy days, we like it when they appreciate, and are consoled even if they just keep a warm hand of comfort on our shoulder. At the end of teenage, our ‘girly-group’ transformed  into a ‘club’, our park walks became dining out on occasions, our gossips jumped from who hit whom to who went out with whom, but, one thing remained the same, we laughed the same way like we did when we were kids.

Although our physique changed and we became different people now, but we stayed together, we enjoyed each other’s company, actually relished it, it was something special, actually it IS something special that I can’t define.

Time ran so fast it came to the part of engagements. Well, Rasheeda was the first one to get engaged from our group. We were all happy that now we are adults and have become mature with time. Who knew that we will all miss being together one day?

Day before yesterday, it was the last function of Rasheeda’s wedding, sorry if I’m jumping from engagement to the wedding, but it seems like she got engaged just some time ago and now, she is happily married.

I don’t know Rasheeda if I was ever a good friend to you, but you ARE to me. You might laugh now, I couldn’t sleep right now, I miss you. I miss you singing 9XM songs, I miss your smartness, I miss your cries, I miss you being bossy, I miss your enthusiasm, I miss dancing in the rain with you, and I miss your smile, I really miss you – already.

I think about your home, it’s such a big part of my childhood, I miss you being there. Apart from all the differences we have had, you were a really good friend to me, and to see you away I really don’t know how to react. I will miss your place beside Fatema – Muslim in the thaal. I will miss you every time as I pass by your building (which will be every day).

Yesterday as I hugged you the last time, I really didn’t want to let go of you, you are so much to me, you don’t even know. I know we haven’t been like best friends and all, but even then I will miss you like A LOT (Have I said this like the hundredth time till now?)

Life is really bitter sometimes, I really don’t want to be away from you.

I’d like to quote some lines to you;

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I pray that your each and every day passes with a light heart, that no troubles bother you because I know you are great at tackling them 😉 .

I wish that every day you light the days with your radiant smile, and live a happy contented life under the Saya Mubarakah of both Maula. Ameen.

May Allah grant our Maula a long, healthy and prosperous life till the Day of Judgement. Ameen.

Take care.

With lots of love,

Yours truly,

Ruqqu.

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Inni Wallahe Ohibboka Ya Maula!

As it dawned on Wednesday, 2nd September 2015, my home seemed like a fish market, we all were in a hurry to get to Hyderabad. All in all, we left home by almost 7.30 am. The plan was, that Syedna Ali-Qadar Mufaddal Saifuddin Maula TUS was directly coming to Hyderabad from Karachi airport.

We reached in time and got the sharaf of waaz of Urus Mubarak of Syedna Idrees Imaduddin Maula RA in Hyderabad; in bayan Mufaddal Maula TUS explained the position of a leader. He (TUS) told that the leader is like a lion, the protector from evils, the King of all, He whose one roar can make everyone silent. And, when I read this quote I knew exactly what Maula TUS tried to tell us, ‘I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.’ ~Alexander the Great

Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay in Hyderabad while Maula TUS was there, and came back to Karachi by evening, none of us knew if the city of Karachi will get His blessings too, but on the inside everyone prayed that He would bless our city too. By weekend, we knew the stay in Karachi for a few days was confirmed, and the arrangements and preparations had begun as soon as the news came in.

On Monday morning, 7th September ’15, Maula TUS flew to Burhani Industrial Park and then Burhani Recreational Park in helicopter; the parks were inaugurated by His Holiness. Around 1.15 pm, Maula TUS came to Karachi.

In the evening of 7th, thousands of mumineen did deedar of Maula TUS at Naadil Burhani. Each heart was rejoiced as Maula TUS gave salami to the crowds in the ground. The cricket match of Saifee Burhani Games commenced. While the match went on, Maula TUS enjoined on mumineen to keep this ground as a ground, since health is very important, and no other thing should take this ground’s place.

I and my few friends hurried to Hasani Masjid- Clifton, where Maula TUS would offer Magrib/ Isha prayers. Luckily, we got through the excited crowd and prayed after Maula’s Imamat.

Then, on 8th of September, Tuesday, the day began with Fajr prayers in Taheri Masjid – Sadar. After the prayers and deedar, the MSB staff, students and alumni proceeded to Al-Madrasa-Tus-Saifiyah-Tul-Burhaniyah Hyderi campus, last minute work was going on for Maula TUS’s arrival in the madrasa.

In not more than 18 minutes, Mufaddal Maula TUS did an overview of the whole school, He TUS looked inside every classroom, every lab. Since I was standing by the counter, where shehed (honey), water, and many things were kept for shifa, I was right in front of Maula as he said shifa to all the things, never in my life have I ever been so close to Maula TUS. And then, Zohar Asar prayers were offered in Husami Masjid – Barakaat-e-Hyderi.

Later that night, Governor of Sindh Dr Ishrat-ul-Ibad conferred doctorate degree upon Mufaddal Maula TUS in a convention organized by University of Karachi (KU) at Governor House.

9th September started with Fajr prayers in Adam Masjid – Old Karachi, and at night Saleh Masjid was blessed with Magrib/Isha prayers in the night of Milaad Mubarak of 51st Dai Syedna Taher Saifuddin RA. A noorani procession was held in Naadil Burhani, the sight was amazing, and the cries of ‘Maula Maula’, ‘Maula Aik Nazar’, ‘Labbaika Ya Dai-Allah’ and ‘Inni Wallahe Ohibboka Ya Maula’ are still ringing in my ears. The Moukib (procession) was truly something that the mumineen of Karachi will never forget.

The day of Milad dawned on us, and the news which none of us wanted to hear was clear to us when Maula TUS gave wada nu salam (the last words) to all of us. When I heard the waaz, I felt every word, every zikr, every sentence was meant for my soul. Many of us did deedar from the terrace of Masjid, which was like the do or die thing but at that moment no one cared, the want of Aik Nazar gave us the spirit.

As I sat for jaman (lunch) with my mohalla friends, we came up with a plan to do last deedar as Maula TUS would leave for airport from a zyafat nearby. We, and many mumineen stood on the road waiting for Maula TUS as He’d come towards the car. Not once, not twice, not even thrice, it was definitely more than that, I ran after the car, seeing the last salami of Maula today, my feelings can’t be put to words. As much as I’m thankful, my heart is grieving on Maula TUS’s departure.

This safar has changed me like no other, I guess, some things can never be explained, and maybe never be understood by any other person, except Maula TUS himself.

As these days pass, I wish to do His deedar again and again, until there is no other day.

May Allah, grant our Maula TUS, a prosperous and healthy life till the day of Judgment. Ameen.

Amate Syedna Maulanal Mannan,

Ruqaiya Mulla Mustafa Lokhand Wala.

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What do you hope to achieve in your lifetime?

We’ve all born up with, or at least I can say that I’ve born up with- fairy tales, a place where magic existed, and anything could be done by a swish swash of a wand; there was an outside world- so called Narnia and a school named Hogwarts. Life went on, and then I started to realize, that those places and things were mere imaginations, those were just illusions that are not the meaning to life, that’s not the core of it, there’s something else besides being a hero.

Like all children, I had my own fantasy world (of course); being the youngest of my siblings, I never had anything to worry about. I was always pampered and got whatever I wanted. I was not an outspoken person; I had such ideas and elements in my world that no one would believe I would think of. The fantasies made me feel that my life would be the same, but seriously, would it?

Humans are unique creatures, aren’t they? I don’t know if there’s one definition to them. Of all the creations of God, humans are entirely distinctive in features and habits. There are many theories of how humans evolved from other animals, but then, humans have this most insane thing in them, yes, I call it insane, because this particular thing has the ability to do anything, absolutely anything; it is the mind, yes. This is where I disagree to the fact that humans evolved from animals, if so, one aspect to that is; why would it be taken as an insult if one called us an animal?

The point is; that humans have the ability; to think, visualize, weigh the options according to their priorities and likes/dislikes, and act upon it. Animals do that too, but they can do it to a certain extent, they can’t go across their boundaries to do something mind blowing. It is the humans that can bring peace, and then, at the same time, mass destruction as well. It is the humans, who have the ability to go as far as the moon. It is the humans that can turn mere particles into sky scrapers.

I’m sure we all know what a human mind is capable of doing. This brings us to reason out; why humans are born different? Why do they have a particular race in life? What is the meaning to their live? Will they be particularly accounted for what they do? And so, the questions arise one after another.

A few years ago, I started to write on a blog with my school-mates. There, I wrote an essay (or you could call it an autobiography), which was; ‘it’s fun to be me’, and one of my teachers commented there, ‘Knowing oneself is a life-long process of discovery. It’s good to realize your own strengths and shortcomings. That is the key towards self-development.’ That’s what struck me; our process of experiencing life is the same thing. It works the same way, as we proceed to take steps in our life one after another, we come down to various perspectives, we understand ourselves in a better way and hence, the motive of our life.

The first revelation that came upon Prophet Mohammad PBUH was,

“Proclaim! In the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created-
Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood;
Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-
Who taught (the use of) the pen,-
Taught man that which he knew not.”

It was a clear order, to acquire knowledge and then, spread it to others. When we study or wade through the words of wisdom, at first, we accept what is brought to us and then, we ask of how and why this or that happened, which enables our mind to open up. When we talk in religious terms, there have been people who were astray and then as time passed they became religious, on the other hand, there have been people who were born in a religious environment but they found ‘their’ meaning of life something else. Every mind is given a certain time (age), to use his mind and contemplate with what he has observed in his time.

I’m not a scholar, and I do not have the sound reasons to argue about the theories of life evolving from a unicellular organism to a very well developed one, but with what I have grasped and what my mind tells me is that if humans are extra-ordinary, then there’s definitely a reason to it. I am, in the process of learning, everyday my mind perceives a new thing, and it makes me wonder and ponder.

It is my mind that instructs me, to dive-in, in the sea of knowledge and achieve the task of knowing of my existence here.

Ruqaiya Lokhand.

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The incident that silenced the nation.

I don’t think there might be anyone who must not have heard about what happened day before yesterday. When I heard the news, for a second, I felt feeling-less, do you know why, it’s because these constant bomb blasts and open-air firings have made my heart so hard, that, for a second I did not think of them. I didn’t think what must have happened.

When I write here, I never lie, I tell what I feel. I say exactly what my heart holds inside. The breaking news was clear, over 84 students had been shot and killed, and a few teachers too. The news seemed like an everyday routine thing. Just then, there came pictures, not a few, a flood of them came one after another. One showing, a parent taking his young son to school and the other showed that child, lying on the ground, with his eyes closed, and blood all over him. His father who had dropped him to school that morning was holding his son in his arms and crying because he didn’t know he had brought him that day for this reason.

The nation lost its flowers; the flowers that once bloomed in the garden, were plucked out and burnt to ashes. That moment, I heard a bell ringing, it rung so loud, that I went to my room, closed the door and sat on my bed in silence. I closed my eyes and I could see, I could see these cruel people going to each class and firing each child in the head, I could see them taking out children that were hiding underneath the desks and shot each one of them.

The hard-heartedness had vanished, tears rolled down as I thought of that incident. Those young children who survived this heinous massacre lost their childhood. They’ve lost their innocence; God knows what they must have seen and what situation they must be in. You know, I’m not a ruthless, cruel person, but, these incidents are unbearable for me, I see my people dying every day and there’s nothing I could do about it. So, I created a wall, but when I saw these young ones my heart couldn’t hold it anymore, it was just too much.

What must have been going on those parents whose children were taken away from them forever? They must have lost themselves when they would have known that their meaning of life was gone. For those who earn, so that their child gets good education and one day he’d shine like a star and have a better life then they did, their dreams went in vain, their dreams, were crushed by these people.

These people who came to each classroom and said, “Allah-o-Akbar”, do you call them Muslims? Do you call these people Muslims who took lives of guiltless children? Don’t they know that Prophet Mohammad PBUH loved children? Oh and besides that, Prophet Mohammad PBUH never fought unless it was needed, he would not even hurt those who hurt him the most. So, do we call these people Muslims? These people; do this in the name of Muslims so that they can make a bad name of true Muslims. They are nothing but beasts, yes beasts, I’m sure you remember what happened in Karbala, when Imam Husain A.S took his 6 months old son out, so that maybe one of the enemies might have mercy on the child and would give at least a drop of water, the enemy didn’t give water, in fact, the young soldier was martyred by an arrow.  The ones who did this hideous act, were like the enemies of Imam Husain A.S, they were so-called Muslims.

Every dark night is followed by a bright day, and this cycle goes on, I being a Pakistani openly condemn of this terrorist attack and solemnly feel that we all must bring a change. We must not let them fear us, we have each other, and together we can reach the sky. This incident has silenced the nation, but, we can overcome this. We can overcome all of that we lost and start from a fresh page. We must stand together so that people like them can’t harm us again. A small brick can be drifted along, but together, we will make a wall, we will build ourselves up so that whatever they do does not affect us.

Because, ‘united we stand and divided we fall’.

A patriotic Pakistani,

Ruqaiya Lokhand.

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